Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Notes From The Bride To Be - Things that are Planned

Baby Ikya. I hope mum doesn't pin up a hanky to my wedding outfit like this!

As a PERSON, I'm honestly a mixture of say a Pheobe and a Monica. Hard to imagine, yah? Hey reality is stranger that fiction that's precisely why!

So while on most days, I'm extremely laid back (NOT by Hyderabad standards, this city has the LAZIEST people ever!) I'm a staunch vegetarian who loves animals and yadayadayada, I get competitive while playing games like pictionary to an extent where people will vouch that I smacked them on their heads a good number of times while slyly writing the answer down, which you are NOT to believe, also I've been known to be super competitive in races (I might have dragged and hurt a couple of people in the sack race because theyweretoodamnslow!)! I have ocd. I have that one cupboard full of all the junk everyone thinks I don't need but are wrong and a lot of other things I'm not so very "chilled out" about! As a matter of fact, I hate the word chill I also hate being asked to relax when you're taking too long to do the right thing. These words just get the daayan out of me. 

Point is, it's very difficult to say which situation gets out which character in me. Because as of now, I know that the wedding is in February. I am really freaking out about how I'm going to start or get things done (in my head) but on ground, I haven't done anything yet. NOTHING!

Maybe I'm so freaked out I don't know where to start. I din't intend to start documenting my wedding prep even though I've gotten tons of mails and messages about it along with lovely, heart warming wishes (Thank you all!) But instead of writing it down in my diary, I decided to write it down here so you get entertained, and I get ideas, advice and clarity. and honestly, some shame that'll make me move my bum and DO something!
This is my first time being a bride you see, I feel like I don't even know how to behave. For example, I'm pretty sure I disappoint elderly relatives and most elders by not being shy at all. I only tell everybody that I might be shy and quiet on the day of the wedding but I know, You know, as does the boy and do my friends and family that it's not true! But why snatch peoples' hopes and wishes?!

So moving on to the scary bit, (I warn request you not to gasp in horror when you know where I stand considering my wedding is in the first half of Feb!)
I'm going to list down the things I know I'm doing, starting now!-

  1. I'm going for my bachelorette to Goa soon. I know it's been done a gazillion times by everybody but I've never been to Goa everrr (Go ahead, judge me) so I wanted to do it as a part of my bucket list before getting married (only thing I'm doing from the list) mainly because I don't want to be the only Indian to have grown up in the 90s who din't go for the "Goa trip" with her friends!
  2. I know it's mainly going to be a Telugu brahmin wedding. 
  3. I know I'll be wearing a white sari with a gold border for the wedding and I know the exact kind of blouse I want with it. I just need to go find the material.
  4. I plan to go to Charminaar and meet a  designer next week.
  5. I know next week onwards I'm going to be out of the house and actually seeing things and meeting people and doing real wedding type things. (Every time I say "wedding type things" be sure to know that I have no bloody idea what I'm talking about!)
  6. Yes, I know you think I'm an extremely laidback freak but I've never worked before the last minute. 
  7. I know that the boy and the family I'm marrying into is as relaxed and laidback as mine which is exactly what I need not to panic BUT It's high time I do something on my own!
  8. The venue is decided upon and booked.
  9. I know what I want to wear for most functions (Haldi (aka the pellikuthuru ceremony), Mehendi (the next day), a dance party the day after - (something western here- not sure what) (no sangeet like compulsory performances as it's going to just put a lot of pressure on me :P), the wedding, the reception the same night.
  10. My MIL to be is visiting over Christmas and most of my trousseau shopping will be done then. (Trousseau = all the sarees I'm going to wear for all the dining ins and out and bada khanas and general army partys for the rest of my life! So no "trendy" sarees/ salwaar kameezes (that I wont wear on a normal basis anyway)!)
  11. I need to start getting normal everyday clothes and a beach honeymoon appropriate clothes too, while on the topic!
  12. Need to plan out *seriously* the vacation post marriage!
  13. I know I'm trying to sound really chilled out now but I'm actually shitting bricks knowing where I stand!
  14. No photographer booked yet (Kill me No, help me please! Someone Hyd based). Also, I'm trying to get one of those wedding filmers who'd make a cute (max) 3 hr video complete with good music, and bits from friends and relatives. (No zooming into awkward guests' half eaten food plates and crying babies- hey! I know from personal experience that weddings can be traumatic events for kids!!)
  15. No mehendi artist(s) booked yet. When I said this, My dad said "Oh Hyd is full of mehendi artists!" Ya, let's see you get me one papa! Remember the decor, the food I want for these functions.
  16. Heck no Panditji in picture yet!!
  17. OMG Hair and makeup mainly HAIR! Need to go BUY makeup (mainly base makeup).
  18. I'm dead. Please don't forbid me from taking my 3 and a half day trip! That's the only thing I'm looking forward to right now.
I was avoiding doing this because I knew I'd freak out post this and that I'd be subjected to public ridicule and judgement! (I'd judge such an unprepared bride too, okay!) Thing is work has been so annoyingly stressful and crazy lately, physically and mentally exhausting, by the time I come home, all I want to do is crash but waste time doing other unnecessary things. and all that's not happening anymore! No more phone calls. No more bringing work stress home only sleeping as much as I can and only focus on being a wannabe bridezilla to get everyone in the mode!
Just say nice calming things. Please. Pretty please.


  1. Ohh don't worry! You'll manage it plus with weddings there are always people to chip in and help! I have few days left, my biggest worry right now is packing stuff and shifting. Condensing everything you own in 2 suitcases (under 23 kgs!!) is a tough job! And I have so so much of beauty stuff and art supplies! My parents are taking care of most of the organization bits from Bhopal while I'm here trying to take of other things - mainly throwing out/selling out stuff, I have my entire apartment to clear out including electrical appliances, furniture etc! I think Mehak's experience with a Hyderabad wedding will help you find a good MUA, check out her Bridal files.

    1. Oh ya I should go though it. I just found out that the MUA who's my friend is already booked for my dates so I think I'll end up doing it myself. I will need help with the hair though!
      All the best Ankita!! I know you'll do a fab job! mwah!

    2. I share your fear Ikya!! I'm not in India and can't bledy do a thing from nz..! venue is booked, Photographer is done! MUA and dresses are taking away my sleep...! I'm not brave enough to do my own makeup and with dresses all I do is exchange pics with my sister on whatsapp! Ideas floating around... Everything in the head :( I hope we get through this babes.. Its seriously freaking me out now! and I thought I was the chilled out one...Good luck to you.. keep us posted.. Hugs** Mwaah

    3. Ohh thats too bad but I'm sure you'll do okay! Just do a few trials beforehand and take pictures with flash and everything, just to check that the foundation is photographing well!! You have pretty nice skin (always clear and glowy in pics) so don't worry too much! I'm rubbish with hair too so I've booked a salon for sari draping and hair! And if you have terribly tanned body skin like me, start using some ubtan and sunscreen on a regular basis! Ohh and don't forget to use some liquid highlighter mixed with body lotion or powdered body shimmer (whichever you prefer) on the exposed parts of the body when you get ready!

  2. Awww, I wish you all the best and hope you enjoy your trip to goa with ur gal pals and wish you all the best for your future married life and OMG DON'T FORGET THE DJ!! lol

  3. Sweatheart... you'll do good... see, you already know what you wanna wear so its a good start... it takes 2-3 weekends of dedicated effort to buy the stuff for your trousseau... if you have a dedicated tailor / designer then half your worry is over... leave the panditji to your parents... you find a mehndiwaala ;)

    also, some advice from me... after almost 6 years of being married, I am reaching out to my silks and crepes everytime there is a saree to be worn... my georgettes are neglected... so i'd say go for the classics.... a friend of mine picked up 1 kanjeevaram, 1 banarasi, 1 parsi gaara, 1 chanderi, 1 kashmiri and 1 paithani as her 7 main sarees.... if you can do that, then you have a classics that will always look stylish... dont go for those manish malhotra imitations :(

    1. OMG Thats exactly what my mum, his mum, and all the other (army) wifes I know said! You NEED classic sarees! :P Which is why that is left to my MIL to be because not only does she know what I should get, she shares my brilliant taste! :P

      My MUA is booked. I NEED A PHOTOGRAPHER! Im still scared! :(

    2. Are you looking for someone to do candid photography? A friend of mine does it and he is good old. .. mail me if you need info....

      And honey, it's ok to be scared.... just don't let the stress break you out...

  4. omg ikya congrats!! i didnt know d good news and cmon u r a "chilled" out bride..relax! I have got no experience in this department YET but I'm hoping everything will go fine. Have fun in goa!

  5. Oh..Chill!! February is a good time frame...My brother is getting married On January 5th and we have only started the stuff this month..and things are getting along just fine..the only thing you needed to get in line was the venue..and thats done! So you're covered..Take A Deep Breath..Enjoy the fun and the busy times!! :) :)

    I am looking forward to hearing more about your wedding stuff!
    There is nothing more I love than Weddingy stuff!!

  6. I have no experience yet, so I cannot reallly advise you much, but relax. Things will go fine. You have a good idea of what you want and how you want it (which takes a lot of time on its own), and I am sure it will not take you much time to get them. If it is any consolation, I haven't been to Goa either. You will now...so that makes me the only Indian born in the 90's who hasn't been to Goa yet :P

    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    2. Count me in!! 90's kid and never been to Goa.. Sob Sob**

  7. You know, ive actually forgotten how crazy and paranoid I was when I got married coz that was a decade ago! All I remember is coolly shopping...and ordering lingerie from Fredericks of Hollywood ;)
    Honestly, most of the major things like photographer, caterer etc was done by both sets of parents. Just one tip...delegate work as much as possible and relax. Yes, we all want things to be a certain way on our wedding day but even if things arent exactly the way u want them, enjoy those moments anyway coz they will stand out in ur memory after a decade or two, or three, or four.....

    Best of luck *big hug*

  8. aww ur so cute ! i have no experience in this matter so wont advice anything :P but dont worry it'll be awesome and omg goa trip with friends awesome!! ive been to goa 2-3 times but never as an all friends trip :P and TBH at times i feel excited for when (lots of years to go right now) ill get married, ive always been a hopeless romantic but i also cant imagine how shit nervous ill be :P but anyway, i know one thing for sure, you'll make a very gorgeous bride :* all the best for preps :)

  9. You still have time dear, so don't panic. I have one wedding every year in my family, so ask me and I'll list out at least half of what you want.
    1.Designer - I heard Bhargavi Khunam [Banjara or Jubilee Hills :P] is really good at designing wedding clothes.. esp these paita pavada which is in trend now.
    2.Wedding Saree - You must must must try Kalaniketan.. There have 100s of wedding sarees in white+red, white+gold, white+pink combination.
    3.Photographer - We were lucky enough to book Joesph Joe Radhik for my sister's wedding and he did an amazinnnnnnnnnnggggggg job. You know the one who did Allu Arjun's wedding shoot ! Do try getting him for the pics and videos and hope he is free this Feb. He is very polite and friendly too.. so do do do give a try :)

    If you were in chennai, I would have helped you through out as I am so used to all this now :)


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