Its been a nice lazy Sunday so far.. I had my share of fun and I am itching to go and sleep.. but I decided to do the post and laze a marathon!
1. If I like it, it's mine.
1. Dogs are never permitted in the house. The dog stays outside in a specially built wooden compartment named, for very good reason, the dog house.
(in order to keep my present living arrangements)
It started with me slobbering all over Ikky to wake her up.. (she need heavy duty slobbering)!
then we ended up running around the house for a looonng time! she was running around with her camera.. she claims he dint click pictures of me.. but.. well lets see..
okay so then we browsed the net for new furniture for me.. i'm contemplating moving in with Ik.. (her room):P
its nice and cozy in there! i'd happily stay there till its still cold here! i refuse to wear ugly shirts my head doesnt go throw!
i found something rather funny.. but very true.. and since this is my almost introductory post, i'd rather you'll get to know me as a mastiff too!!!
so here goes-
Rules in a Mastiff house-
Dog property laws
1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If it's in my mouth, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
6. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.
7. If it just looks like mine, it's mine.
8. If I saw it first, it's mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If it's broken, it's yours.
House Rules...
1. Dogs are never permitted in the house. The dog stays outside in a specially built wooden compartment named, for very good reason, the dog house.
2. Okay, the dog can enter the house, but only for short visits or if his own house is under renovation.
3. Okay, the dog can stay in the house on a permanent basis, provided his dog house can be sold in a yard sale to a rookie dog owner.
4. Inside the house, the dog is not allowed to run free and is confined to a comfortable but secure metal cage.
5. Okay, the cage becomes part of a two-for-one deal along with the dog house in the yard sale, and the dog can go wherever the hell he pleases.
6. The dog is never allowed on the furniture.
7. Okay, the dog can get on the old furniture but not the new furniture.
8. Okay, the dog can get up on the new furniture until it looks like the old furniture and then we'll sell the whole damn works and buy new furniture...upon which the dog will most definitely not be allowed.
9. The dog never sleeps on the bed. Period.
10. Okay, the dog can sleep at the foot of the bed.
11. Okay, the dog can sleep alongside you, but he's not allowed under the covers.
12. Okay, the dog can sleep under the covers but not with his head on the pillow.
13. Okay, the dog can sleep alongside you under the covers with his head on the pillow, but if he snores he's got to leave the room.
14. Okay, the dog can sleep and snore and have nightmares in bed, but he's not to come in and sleep on the couch in the TV room, where I'm now sleeping. That's just not fair.
15. The dog never gets listed on the census questionnaire as "primary resident," even if it's
true
true
THINGS I MUST REMEMBER AS A DOG
(in order to keep my present living arrangements)
1. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
2. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
3. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge, behind the sofa or under the bed.
4. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.
5. I will not eat the cats' food, before they eat it or after they throw it up.
6. I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to get sick.
7. I will not throw up in the car.
8. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc. just because I like the way they smell.
9. I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although they are tasty, they are not food.
10. I will not eat any more Kleenex or napkins and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.
11. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
12. I will not chew my humans' toothbrushes and not tell them.
13. I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones.
14. When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.
15. We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.
16. I will not steal my mom's thong underwear and dance all over the backyard with them.
17. The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are mom & dad's laps.
18. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
19. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for mom's driver's license and car registration.
20. I will not play tug-of-war with dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
21. I will not eat mint flavored dental floss out of the bathroom garbage; I do not want a string hanging out of my butt.
22. I will not roll around in the dirt right after just getting a bath.
23. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of saying hello.
24. I will not hump on any person's leg just because I thought they needed a good hump.
25. I will not fart in my mom's face while sleeping on the pillow next to her head.
26. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.
27. The toilet bowl is not a never ending water supply and, just because the water is blue, it doesn't mean it is cleaner.
28. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when company is over.
29. I will remember that suddenly turning around and smelling my butt can quickly clear a room.
source-Mythicalmaze Mastiffs
While I was at it, Ikky painted her nails and stuff.. and she also asked me to put up few pictures of her 2 makeup trials..
1. Soft brown smokey eye
2. Dramatic Purple smokey eye
2. Dramatic Purple smokey eye
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| 1. soft brown smokey eye |
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| 2. dramatic purple smokey eye |
Ik: I knowwww the purple one is messy!:P.. i have the tute for the brown smokey eve ready.. will be posting it this week.. :)
Oh and i have some Zorro pictures he dint really know i was clicking..
Lots of Love
Zorro
